THE WISDOM OF CONFUSIONS
One mustn’t confuse a scintilla
with the Antilles.
A scintilla is small
The Antilles, also. But on a larger scale.
A scintilla is closer to an iota,
not to be confused with Antarctica.
An iota is dotless.
Antarctica is dotted with penguins.
This is how you tell them apart.
Iota is a letter i.
Lambda is a letter l.
Alpha is an upside-down ox-head
not to be confused with Oxford,
a shallow place where oxen cross.
One mustn’t confuse a giraffe.
They are unwieldy at the best of times,
unhinged from gravity or direction,
they are more deadly than a rhinoceros,
not to be confused with rhinitis,
which is not deadly,
merely irritating, and besides,
is nearly extinct.
Author’s Bio
Tom Howell is the author of The Rude Story of English (McClelland & Stewart), a pseudo-history of the English language. He also co-hosts an ongoing documentary series on CBC Radio One, “Ideas from the Trenches,” about PhD students.